Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race |
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Gnome Gnights from Dimension Gninety Gnine
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Gnome Gnights from Dimension Gninety Gnine is powered by 2 gnomes, sponsored by the Nevermore Haunt, Sharky’s Bar & Grill, and Response Labs, and equipped with two ivy-covered pontoons. The Insignificant Others hail from East Baltimore, Upper Fells, Canton, and Highlandtown. You’re about to see they were destined to win Golden Flipper |
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In case you were wondering, the American Society of Agricultural and Biological Engineers specifies the retroreflective triangular Slow-Moving Vehicle (SMV) Identification Emblem should be installed “point up” on vehicles that travel at speeds less than 40 km/h. |
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Getting ready for the water entry. |
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Dear reader: it’s time for close attention. The time elapsed during this set of 5 hydrocatastrophic photos is exactly one minute, 38 seconds. |
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Moments after entering the water, the sculpture began to disintegrate, as if held together by water-soluble nails. |
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This really happened. |
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While Gnome #1 raised his hands in celebration, the Fire Department moved in for a closer look. |
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On their entry form, the team wrote: “Previous entries Pop Rock Neanderthals! and Pinball Wizards faced many mechanical and design issues (mostly that we have no idea what we're doing) and never made it fully across the finish line. This year we are going to back to basics and hope to not only complete the race, but to win it!” |
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The Gnomes rallied on to Patterson Park. |
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The Gnome Gnights valiantly attempted to pedal through the mud, and made initial progress on their fatbike tires. |
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But then they had to dismount and portage their sculpture. |
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Here’s the curious part: at the finish line, their sculpture was reassembled, with umbrella mushroom and ivy-covered pontoons fully restored like new. We have no idea how this happened. |
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Four gnomes appeared to receive their Golden Flipper trophy. One for the ages. This is their third year racing in Baltimore, coming after:
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| Want to See the Next Race? For an email reminder 1 month before the race on Saturday 1 May 2027, and when the 2027 Spectator’s Guide is available, join the Spectator Mailing List! |
| Were you in the race? Please contact Tom Jones if you have anything to add or update, or would like high-res photos of your team’s entry. |