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Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race
2024 Race Report: Grand Champion: CONEstoga Creamers



Here's a Sculpture!
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It’s Gonna be May!
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Were you in the race?
Please contact Tom Jones if you have anything to add or update, or would like high-res photos of your team’s entry.

Saturday 4 May 2024

Twenty-four sculptures came out on a somewhat rainy May day for a beautiful race. Based on the Monuments & Masterpieces theme, four sculptures decided to adopt art in the general style of Keith Haring. There was enough wind the ACE buoy was fairly close to the pier, but not enough that non-ACE unkeeled sculptures risked blowing out to sea. Our 6 all-terrain photographers followed the race from start to finish, taking 10,822 photos. The best 324 are in this report.

Click the “Next Page >” button to go to the next team, or select any of the teams listed at the bottom of the page.

To see others’ coverage of the race, or to tell others about your race experiences, be sure to check out the Kinetic Forum.

Grand Champion: CONEstoga Creamers

2023 is the fifteenth year Team 1800 Pounds has entered the Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture race, and this year they settled on one specific additional requirement: they wanted to make ice cream during the race. The result was CONEstoga Creamers, combining the name of the wagons that brought Americans’ possessions westward in the 18th and 19th centuries with a dessert food truck “[ice cream] Cones To Go”.

Just across the starting line, the white cloth boldly declared its cleanliness. Watch that change along the racecourse.

Astute viewers will note the above photos identify no means of propulsion. Here you can see Team 1800 Lbs adopted a traditional Conestoga approach where the wagon is actually an unpropelled trailer that goes nowhere persistently useful until pulled by draft animals, in this case 3 humans on theriocephalic bicycles.

Rope-drawn vehicles require constant communication so the propulsion doesn’t get run over by the cargo.

This chassis was used in 2019’s Treez Nutz and 2018’s Off the Rails, but instead of a hand-operated crank bar propelling the wheels, the wheels now propelled an ice cream churn using wooden gears. Flavors included Vietnamese coffee, orange creamsicle, chocolate peanut butter, plum, vanilla raspberry, grapefruit sorbet, and (shown here) peanut butter and jelly.

This team was in full compliance with Rule 1+, which states

Each Sculpture must carry at all times 1 comforting item of psychological luxury heretofore referred to as the “Homemade Sock Creature” (HSC).

The laminated failed health inspection certificate is signed by the ghost of Hobart Brown, who founded Kinetic Sculpture Racing in 1969 before going on to his reward in 2007.

Yes, David the Dog in front of the wagon is holding an ice cream cone.

When kinetic sculptures enter the water, bigger splashes indicate higher confidence their pilots have in the strength of their frame. This splash indicates a fair amount of confidence.

Their rear pilot on the water exhibited the most unergonomic position of any Kinetinaut in the entire race.

Other details point to a very experienced team: Note the candystripe PVC outrigger pontoons are outside the wheels for stability on the water, but inside the wheels on land for narrower clearance. Note also that every spoke has a turnbuckle tensioner so they can true the wheel.

Exiting the water is a cause for jubilation as one of the most challenging aspects of the race (especially when ACEing, which this team was not; we’ll come back to that on a later entry).

Big wheels are useful for uneven terrain, but hard narrow wheels have dreadful traction on sand. This team resorted to lifting, dragging, and pushing through the sand, which is legal for non-ACE entries.

With lots of pushing from behind and pulling from the front, they got through the mud, which rain made easier than in a dry year.

Wash World volunteers clean up after the mud.

Keep the brakes ready — Lombard Street is a steep ride down!

Climbing the last hill before the finish line, in front of the Domino Sugars sign.

Across the finish line!

We hear that giving away test flavors of ice cream at build meetings increases team participation.

CONEstoga Creamers won 2024 Grand Mediocre Champion and is eligible to represent our Baltimore race as champion in the 3-day Kinetic Grand Championship in Humboldt County California over Memorial Day weekend.

2024 is the fifteenth race for Team 1800 Lbs, going back to 2007:


All Pages At Once (huge!)

Next Page >
  1. Grand Champion: CONEstoga Creamers
  2. The Waters [sic] Art Museum
  3. Tail-or-Swiftie
  4. Extra-Terrestrial
  5. Long Sphinx
  6. Overlea Fire-Rescue Dive Team & Fire Chief Vesuvius
  7. Pop Rock NEONderthals
  8. Oct-Opus
  1. Dancin’ Fools
  2. Jemicy’s Street, Subway, Merciless Moose
  3. This Does Not Belong in a Museum
  4. PLATYPUS: Monotremes & Mashed Potatoes
  5. Happy Trails
  6. Scrapasaurus
  7. Radiolarian Special
  8. Fallen Tower of Pisa
  9. I in the Pyramid
  1. Fifi! Dot. Dot. Dot.
  2. Tick Tock the Croc
  3. Statue of Lib-Bear-ty
  4. The Battle at Ball’s Deep
  5. Opening Ceremonies
  6. Thanks!
  7. Volunteers, Spectators & Crew
  8. The KineticBaltimore.com Team
5/28/2024 9:06:45 PM   5/29/2024 9:44:24 PM   1:43   2:4   3:7   4:4   5:10   6:5   7:5   8:5   9:4   10:3   11:10   12:5   13:3   14:4   15:3   16:2   17:2   18:6   19:4   20:3   21:4   22:4   23:5   24:3   25:4   26:   27:   28:   AllInOne:4
The Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race is sponsored and run by the American Visionary Art Museum. KineticBaltimore.com is the volunteer work of Tom Jones.
If you have suggestions about making this site better, or questions, e-mail Tom at tjones@spril.com.