Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race
2023 Race Report: Cut Out to be Royal

With a remarkably clever design combining costumes and sculpture, the crew of Cut Out to be Royal wore helmet covers that transformed into necks when mated to giant head caricatures of Queen Camilla, Prince William of Wales, and Duchess Meghan of Sussex (on the left side).

Since the British chose to schedule their first monarchical coronation in 71 years on the same day as the Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race, team Goes to Eleven commemorated it stateside.

On the right were Prince Harry of Sussex, Princess Catherine of Wales, with King Charles III at the front.

Note non-British steering wheel placement on the left.

On the water they used large inflatable pontoons.

This is team Goes to Eleven’s eleventh sculpture:

• 2019: Real Spacewives of Uranus (Art & Sock Creature of the Universe)
• 2018: Spacecation (Worst Honorable Mention)
• 2015: Menace (Next-to-Last)
• 2014: Toyboxers (Next-To-Last & Sock Creature of the Universe)
• 2013: Byte Me (Best Bribes)
• 2012: Poseidon’s Adventure
• 2011: Itty Bitty Charm City (Judges’ Discretionary Spirit of Baltimore Award)
• 2009: Rat Rod
• 2008: Rat Rod (Grand Mediocre Champion)
• 2007: Goes to Eleven

Getting out of the water required pit crew hauling up the ramp.

The sand obstacle proved negligible impediment to four large double wheels and sufficient ground clearance.

But in mud more pushing support was needed.

Race rules stipulate:

Each Sculpture must carry at all times 1 comforting item of psychological luxury heretofore referred to as the “Homemade Sock Creature” (HSC). Homemade Sock Creature must be made in a home, from a not-too-recently-worn sock from the home, and resemble a creature homemade from a sock. (penalty: 1 hour)

Their sock creature was thematic with an Elizabethan collar, and it concealed an even more thematic tea set.

On the road, Cut Out to be Royal kept a strong pace.

Across the finish line.

Before the race, pit crew assessed pilots’ readiness with lung function tests.

For this grand-scale inventive regal splendor, Cut Out to be Royal was the clear winner for the prestigious Art Award, in the form of an iridescent violet trophy.

Cut Out to be Royal also won the 2023 People’s Choice. This award is determined by a fleet of kinetic chicken volunteers who survey spectators, and winning was an especially significant accomplishment because a competitor team with a jubilant reptilian carnivore had won that award every year since 2013.

Way to go, team!