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Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race
2017 Race Report: PLATYPUS Australian Cold-Cut Sub



Here's a Sculpture!
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PLATYPUS Australian Cold-Cut Sub

David Hess’ PLATYPUS (Personal Longrange All-Terrain Yacht Proven Un-Safe) dove fully into the 2017 FOOD theme by transforming into a colossal 9-person cold cut submarine sandwich.

The captain of each kinetic team is polled to identify which of their fellow teams they find most awesome, and PLATYPUS won Pilots’ Choice.

With a heavy-duty welded chassis based on automobile components, PLATYPUS fearlessly charges straight into the water for a bold splash.

Pilots avoided the splash by climbing up into the frame as PLATYPUS careened into Baltimore Harbor.

PLATYPUS flamboyantly drove backwards through the mud, using its lowest gear, and with pit crew behind providing support.

Countering the strong eastward wind required two pit crew pulling the PLATYPUS toward the pier.

That’ll be a 24-foot sub, to go.

The PLATYPUS has been an amazing sight at Baltimore Kinetic races for over a decade:

  • 2016 as The Golden Eyedra and the Elusive Πλατύπους
  • 2015 as PLATYPUS Lost in Space (2015 Space Cadet award)
  • 2014 as PLATYPUS LOST
  • 2013 as PURPLE PLATYPUS
  • 2012 as El PLATYPUS
  • 2011 (Grand Champion)
  • 2010 (Best Pit Crew award)
  • 2009 (People’s Choice)
  • 2008
  • 2007 (Engineering award)
  • 2006 (Engineering and People’s Choice)
  • 2005 (Grand Champion)

and before that, David Hess created Louie the Dog:

  • 2004 (Golden Flipper award)
  • 2003 (Engineering award)

and he was rumored associated with:


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Were you in the race?
Please contact Tom Jones if you have anything to add or update, or would like our photos of your team’s entry.
  1. 2017 Grand Champion: Cowsmic Moobeams
  2. Petal to the Metal
  3. BEATrice the unBEATable
  4. PLATYPUS Australian Cold-Cut Sub
  5. Nator Racer
  6. What Time Is It?
  7. Tick Tock the Croc
  8. Kracken Calamari
  9. Four from Jemicy School
  10. In a Pickle
  1. You Stay Trashy, Baltimore
  2. Holy Mackerel
  3. Jake’s Nightmare
  4. Corn Goddess
  5. Park School B-B-B-Bacon
  6. Ice Ice Huskies
  7. Seafood’s Revenge
  8. OMHS Goes Bananas
  9. SPSG Cargot
  1. Fifi’s Diner
  2. Green Slime Mold
  3. Oatmeals on Wheels
  4. Corny-Copia
  5. Crab Sickle
  6. Opening Ceremonies
  7. Thanks!
  8. Volunteers, Spectators & Crew
  9. The KineticBaltimore.com Team
12/9/2018 7:29:55 PM   12/10/2018 4:00:20 AM   1:259   2:   3:   4:1   5:   6:1   7:   8:1   9:   10:1   11:1   12:   13:   14:   15:   16:   17:   18:1   19:   20:   21:2   22:   23:   24:   25:   26:   27:   28:   AllInOne:1
The Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race is sponsored and run by the American Visionary Art Museum. KineticBaltimore.com is the volunteer work of Tom Jones.
If you have any suggestions about making this site better, or any questions, you can e-mail Tom at tjones@spril.com.