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Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race
2012 Race Report: Champion The 1%

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Saturday 5 May 2012

Yes, America—there are still people who get out from behind their televisions and computers to build things and watch live entertainment. Few spectacles are as entertaining as the fourteenth running of the East Coast Championship Kinetic Sculpture Race.

With 34 sculptures from 28 teams, the streets, parks, and harbor of Baltimore hosted the spectacular collision of art and engineering along the 14-mile race route. We’ll still finalizing our editing, so let us know about any errors or oversights.

Click the “Next Page >” button to go to the next team, or select any of the list of teams at the bottom of the page.

To see others’ coverage of the race, or to tell others about your race experiences, be sure to check out the Kinetic Forum.

Champion: The 1%

The 1% is a comic look at the widening economic divide between the Haves and the Have-Nots. Before the race, they said “The car was built by NASA, on a secret underground moon unit base, funded by taxpayer dollars, graciously laundered by [a major bank]. It is cast of solid gold…. Only wood from endangered rainforests was used for the interior cupholders. Seat cushions are made from Donald Trump hairpieces wrapped in baby seal skins.”

For capturing the zeitgeist of 2012 America in a highly capable kinetic craft, this new team was awarded the 2012 Grand Mediocre East Coast Championship.

The 1% comes from Proteus Bicycles of College Park.

As is customary when a race starts, the preponderance of teams immediately fled. In their wake, two non-motile sculptures lingered in the empty AVAM parking lot. One was destined to become Grand Champion.

At the mud, their 99% unicyclist pit crew member miraculously passed through most of the inconsistently viscous goop before dismounting.

While crossing the mud without external assistance is required to ACE, it is not required for the championship.

When The 1% needed repairs, they pulled into a service station where their vehicle was lifted (by their pit crew) and fixed.

With gusto, they broke through the tape to finish.

All Pages At Once (huge!)

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  1. Champion The 1%
  2. Loose Cannon
  3. Bling Dynasty
  4. Yes! Oui! Cancan
  5. Bike to the Future
  6. Lickety Split
  7. Mario Kart
  8. Rumspringa
  9. Lucy’s Chariot
  10. FLOCK
  11. Poseidon’s Adventure
  1. The Polysaccharides
  2. Agogosaurus
  3. Cup O’ Noodles
  5. Kipplala Rides Again
  6. The Machine
  7. Jemicy’s Five
  8. Go Ask Alice
  9. Herding Cats
  10. Walobo
  11. Max’s Pride
  1. Cat-A-Maran
  2. AMS KiNestic
  3. Halo
  4. Nyan Craft
  5. Riot-N-Roll
  6. AVAM’s Fifi, Bumpo, and Frog
  7. Thanks!
  8. Volunteers
  9. Spectators
  10. The Team
4/19/2024 5:15:36 PM   4/19/2024 9:34:32 PM   1:14   2:   3:   4:1   5:   6:   7:   8:   9:   10:   11:   12:   13:   14:   15:   16:   17:   18:   19:   20:   21:   22:   23:   24:   25:   26:   27:   28:   29:   30:   31:   32:   AllInOne:
The Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race is sponsored and run by the American Visionary Art Museum. is the volunteer work of Tom Jones.
If you have suggestions about making this site better, or questions, e-mail Tom at