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Saturday 1 May 2010
It was a warm and sunny day May 1 for the the twelfth Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race East Coast Championship. The
Frog ended nine years of monotony by diving nose-down into the harbor twice. Many teams got stuck in the sand
and mud—both of which featured fancy new timers to ensure that ACE sculptures failed to linger. Two sculptures
managed to break down within five yards of the starting line—but one’s emergency repairs were so successful it
went on to win the Championship.
Whenever dozens of artistic teams work independently, peculiar coincidences of theme are likely to arise.
This year we had two odd conicidences. First, the simultaneous appearance of two anglerfish.
Second, the novel
appearance of two giant 6-pilot articulated caterpillar sculptures led by artistic umbrellas—each
created independently and with a very different theme.
For 2010, KineticBaltimore.com is pleased to present new vantage points provided by the expansion of our team to
seven members. You’ll see photos from a kayak (thanks to Water Posse volunteers) and other places we’ve
found with new perspectives on the race.
Our photos have also grown 44% more pixels since 2009 so you can see more detail.
The Champion: Candy Haus
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Taking home the Grand Mediocre East Coast Championship was
Candy Haus, with four pilots. Immediately after they
entered the water, spectators realized they had no apparent means of aqueous propulsion as they began to drift. Then with
astonishing precision the four pilots simultaneously reached out and removed the nearest giant lollypop, dipped the
business end into the harbor, and began synchronized paddling. A wave of appreciative oohs erupted from the crowd.
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Candy Haus began the race with tribulation: they broke down yards after the Le Mans start.
They pulled out of the way so others could pass and began sculptural surgery.
A few minutes later they were ready for the ascent of Federal Hill.
The pilots and pit crew sported green Alpine hats.
Candy Haus comes from the same Takoma Park team as 2009’s
Snakehead.
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They sailed through the sand, and broke the tape in style at the finish line. |
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They needed to dismount to get through the mud—which would have disqualified them from
an ACE award, but continuous self-propulsion is not required for the Championship. On the left side of the photo,
Becky’s Mud Vortex Timer went undeployed because they never ceased making forward progress. |
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Here the team receives its championship trophy—topped by gold-plated bicycle handlebars—at the awards ceremony. |
Go Ask Alice
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V. Advice from a Caterpillar
At last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and addressed Alice in a languid, sleepy voice....In a minute or two, the Caterpillar got down off the mushroom and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking, as it went, “One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.”
Winner of both the People’s Choice and Pilots’ Choice
was this stupendous blue caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland known for smoking a hookah, and
whose three inch-height grows in significance when Alice is small. |
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To the left, the Caterpillar and its dramatic shadow leave the starting line at the
American Visionary Art Museum (AVAM). To the right, it arrives at a checkpoint at which a pilot was required to
create a sketch in the theme of their sculpture. |
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The otherworldly blue face and body contrasted dramatically with green
foliage and the pale blue sky.
Inside the caterpillar and invisible when the Caterpillar was in motion, etchings showing scenes
from the story were embedded in the sculpture’s chassis.
The sculpture came from the team responsible for 2009’s Air Cosmonauts
who run Mr. Rain’s Fun House, AVAM’s new restaurant.
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As Fifi joins the other 6-pilot caterpillar in this year’s race heading
toward the mud, the Caterpillar took a break before bypassing the mud altogether.
Speculation was high that if the Caterpillar had conquered the mud, it might have won the Grand Championship. |
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Pit crew were festively costumed as Lewis Carroll characters. |
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Green grass at the Caterpillar’s base concealed pontoons that served it well on the
water. The cargo vessels in the background came first in Baltimore’s history, then the yacht yard,
then the 21st century amphibious Caterpillar based on the 19th century tale. |
Los Baltimuertos
Chessie
Anemone Antics
PLATYPUS
Heavy Metal
Coming from the Sollers Point Technical High School, Heavy Metal
sported a variety of impressive engineering designs. The pontoons rode on land above the sculpture, but pivoted
down for the water entry. (You may also recognize the pontoons from 2009’s Engineering-award winner
Cheese Racer.)
Dry ice provided a cloudy water entry.
With her flag, Heavy Metal resembled Emanuel Leutze’s Washington
Crossing the Delaware. Her two spare tires were mounted high on the back for ready access.
However, her tires seemed too small to propel through the mud. As the Timekeeper peered at the Mud Vortex Timer
cascading away the seconds in the 2-minute aqueous hourglass,
Heavy Metal’s pilots and crew heaved with all their might to extract the sculpture from the
Mud Mongers’ goo.
There was a new award this year, the Fill in the Gap award, from the “Judges who always complain
about the award they want to give, but can’t”. Becuase Sollers Point students machined the entire drivetrain on the
sculpture, rather than using off-the-shelf components, they clearly understood the mechanics involved in Kinetics.
She also required portage across the sand, but sailed through the finish line showing little sign of damage from her
15-mile journey.
The Creature from the Lansdowne Lagoon
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The Creature from the Lansdowne Lagoon
arose from Lansdowne High School’s Student Government, Arts & Communication Academy
and Engineering, Science & Info Tech Academy. It bears a wide variety of
trash removed from the school-side pond.
A lantern lure dangles out of its head as predatory bait, just as on an anglerfish. |
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The Ramp Master reveals some angst while clearing The Creature for the water entry, perhaps
foreseeing that it would immediately steer into the rocks. For their turmoil on the water, they won the
Golden Flipper award for the “most interesting water entry”.
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Once a rope was securely attached, a pit crew member kept the Creature on a short leash
to ensure it did not deviate further from the racecourse. |
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Early in the morning, the team prepared for the athletic rigor of the race with a
stretching regimen—including one member with a colossal green dorsal fin.
Après race, the sculpture stowed compactly atop a minivan. |
The Moderately Famished Caterpillar
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The Moderately Famished Caterpillar, another 6-pilot
giant caterpillar sculpture with an umbrella on the front, this one bearing blue wings, purple antennae,
cheerful gravity-roll eyes, and a pointy red nose.
The chassis consisted of 6 loosely connected bicycles, and the racers made no attempt to ride through the
mud and sand. Instead, they dismounted and walked their bikes through.
This is the fourth entry from the spirited team that created 2009’s
Hot Beef Injection,
2008’s It’s Ben Hur, Hon and 2007’s Acme Kinetic Sculpture.
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At the water entry, they inflated a large emergency raft into which they all clambered.
This would have met even the ACE rules had they brought all their bicycles and everything else along.
At the end of the race they sailed across the finish line with wings flapping.
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Going to Hell
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Going to Hell brought smoke
to lend a brimstone look (but not smell) to their water entry. This was an update of 2009’s
Going to Hell entry with a new
welded frame, larger head, and large purple tongue. Here, the Ramp Master completes his
inspection of the sculpture from Falls Church, Virginia.
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Here they made it through the sand—but only by standing on their pedals in
the posture characteristic of those lacking the low gears necessary for effective sand propulsion.
Until Patterson Park, the sculpture was almost always in the lead, and was on track to win the Speed award.
Unfortunately, they suffered another mechanical breakdown between the sand and the mud, and dropped out of the
race. Last year, they had a similarly successful opening two-thirds of the race, followed by a similarly
catastrophic end. For their repeat performance, this year they received the
Golden Dinosaur award for the most memorable breakdown.
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They were piloted by four devils—one in a blue dress. All sported
red horned helmets—showing that even a simple addition to a bicycle helmet can provide a significant extension
of a sculpture’s theme.
They gave out excellent bribes consisting of devil temporary tattoos. Marking spectators and race officials
with tattoos is a superb bribe, much better than commercially packaged candy that many teams provide to
Kinetic Kops citing them with race infractions.
They performed well on the water as their demon flew overhead.
However, their pontoons being mostly underwater
indicate that if the wind had risen or the sculpture’s weight shifted, they might have rapidly capsized due to
the Pontoon Effect. Remember that effective
pontoonage ensures that each of two pontoons is capable of providing buoyancy for the entire sculpture’s weight. |
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Safari Attack
Scrum Roll Racer
Mobile Media
Jemicy’s Veke Versa Boat, Squid Man, Kraken, Cabrena Octopus & Calamari
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The Jemicy School returned with five entries, and Veke
Versa Boat, their largest ever,
showed that they’ve been learning a lot about engineering. With four pilots toiling under a large
cloth tree octopus, fat stubby tires, and
extremely low sand and mud gears, they churned through all terrain on the racecourse to win both an
ACE award for following the most stringent race rules and also
the Engineering award.
It used the chassis from 2008’s
Viscar Boot #3 entry as its foundation.
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Here you can see the Veke Versa Boat slowly cranking through the mud in its low gears.
Progress was slow—the green Mud Vortex Timer at the lower left corner shows most of their time is
gone—but they made it through the mud just in time as the crowd roared.
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Squid Man was one of the four smaller Jemicy sculptures,
here drooping a hose in traffic on Pratt Street, but also winner of an ACE award.
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Kraken showed how a small lightweight sculpture can
succeed in the sand with just three narrow tires. It also received an ACE award.
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Cabrena Octopus approaches the mud. As soon as a sculpture
stopped making forward progress, Becky the Timekeeper flipped over the aqueous vortex hourglass countdown
timer giving two minutes
for a sculpture to clear the mud. Becky and the timer come from the American Physical Society of College Park.
Cabrena Octopus also won an ACE award for making it through all obstacles fast enough
without help on forward propulsion.
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Calamari was the final Jemicy entry,
sporting octopus sock creatures, and also winner of an ACE award.
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T-Wrecks
Got Milk?
Carver Cobra II
Twitter Jay & the Recyclists
Big Bamboo
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The Dumpster Divers from Philadelphia have been racing every year since 1999—a record for
Baltimore Kinetic persistence matched only by the sponsoring American Visionary Art Museum. This year, they
brought Big Bamboo, made of hand-picked trash
and home-grown bamboo.
Big Bamboo was designed as a dragster, and from the side, the large rear wheels hid the pilot and made
it appear as though its sock puppet were driving, complete with his own steering wheel.
This year there was a bit of excitement when they entered the water and tilted somewhat, but they soon righted
themselves and proceeded around the pier without undue calamity.
Big Bamboo looked quite similar to 2009’s
Green Racer, famous for
its dramatic Harbor flip.
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AVAM’s Fifi Joins the Circus, Bumpo the Circus Elephant, Circus Rat, and Frog
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The American Visionary Art Museum, as sponsor of the race, also produces a set
of animal entries as Kinetic Inspiration. This year, three of AVAM’s four sculptures shared a
novel theme: joining the circus.
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Fifi Joins the Circus had a clown hat, clown nose, and bow tie, and radiated pink glee.
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After a dramatic splash into the water, her pilots’ spatted high-heel boots plunged into the harbor with every revolution of the pedals. |
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Her pit crew also had thematic costumes, including a strong man who was
helpful at getting her through the viscous mud. Nonetheless, Fifi lagged behind other entries enough that
she won the Next to Last award. (Anybody can be last, but it takes
a bit more effort to be next-to-last.)
We also direct your attention to the gentleman who appears to be hanging off Fifi’s nose.
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Bumpo the Circus Elephant had Anemone Antics
in hot pursuit through the wild pastures of Patterson Park.
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Bumpo was supported by a crew of muscular circus acrobats who performed
crowd-pleasing gymnastics on the pier. Bumpo wore a
tasseled fez, fringed umbrella, and stripped banners.
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Circus Rat also wore a festive hat
and its crew wore matching tasseled fezzes.
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The Rat’s banner bears the insignia of the “Ratline Brothers Bubonic & Scaley Flea
Circus”.
In the background as the Rat team rushes to get through the mud,
you can see Chessie, the Moderately Famished Caterpillar,
Twitter Jay, and Fifi all catching up.
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The Frog looked
exactly the same as it has every year since 2002.
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Perhaps in despair, the Frog took a
nose-dive into the harbor immediately after entering the water.
A few minutes later, as it was coming in for landing, it took another nose dive. |
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Finally, somewhere between the water entry and Patterson Park, the Frog lost its right eye in some
sort of gruesome accident.
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The Boatercycle
Volunteers
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Racers get the glory, spectators get the frivolity, but the massive heaving mound of toil that keeps entropy at bay for the
Kinetic Sculpture Race comes from the dozens of volunteers performing countless critical jobs.
We celebrate the Chickens who assist and inform the
crowd, the Checkpoint Charlies who keep the racers on course, the Kops who keep some semblance of order,
the Mud Mongers and Sand People who construct the obstacles, the Timekeepers and Countdowners who keep the race on schedule,
the Kayak Patrollers keeping sculptures from blowing out to sea and provide a photographer’s seat,
the Medics who keep people healthy, the
Boat Ramp Cleaners who remove the trash from the harbor, the Finish Line Holders who give the racers a target to
cross, and everyone else who gives their time and energy to the race.
It is a celebration of Baltimore’s boundless capacity for frivolity that thousands gather to put aside their
own individual difficulties—fatigue, responsibilities, jobs, loved ones gone,
chemotherapy, and everything else—to
celebrate teams of racers who have applied sweat and effort for weeks and months to create wheeled works of art that,
with even more sweat and effort will overcome the absurd challenges of the course (more or less).
Thank you, volunteers, for making this possible!
If you might want to volunteer in 2011 or 2012, Join the Volunteer E-mailing List.
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Festivity Among the Crowd
Many spectators, pit crew, volunteers, and pilots were well-costumed for the day. Here are some of them.
The Kinetic Baltimore Team
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Kinetic Baltimore had a team of seven volunteers stationed throughout the race and leaping
from site to site in a choreographed yet chaotic logistical ballet to provide you thorough
details of the race proceedings on this website.
From left to right:
Thomas McKenzie: Zoetrope Documentor.
Amy Swackhamer: Head Race Commentator.
Johanna Goderre Jones: Director of Benevolence. Almost a year ago, Johanna became the wife of...
Tom Jones Creator of Fine Websites, Maps, Spectator’s Guides, and other Paraphernalia to the Kinetic Trades, and Kinetic Seer #746 ordained by the Glorious Founder, Hobart Brown.
James Riordon: Ramp Master and Crowd Wrangler.
Karen Wallace: Supreme Instigator of Kinetic Finery, Mad Haberdasher, and Festivator of the Masses. See her work on www.jellybug.com.
Paul Robinson: Emergency Backup Camera Operator.
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